June 26, 2003

Magic USA Nationals 2003

s

lept too much on the drive to make grinder 1 and grinder 2 (limited) was full when I arrived. Waited around ate, dealt with Serena, etc while waiting for grinder 3 grinder 3 match 1 a black_mana red_mana blue_mana Reanimator... Interesting to say the least. Game 1 went easy, but 2 had me stomp with him constantly rawing Stitch togethers and zombifys and getting a damn nishoba out. Game three invovled me beat rushing him with a shade and winning 18 life to 9 at timeout. match 2 was sorta mirror, focus around rotlun but -bridge -archon +assasin +more hand removal +corrupt game 1 with josh had me dying quickly as if he had a rotlung out and killed my wretch he gets a tokn, game 2 was me cowering behind a bridge, sacing and recurring archons for the win. game 3 sucked hard, had an echoes and mutiltate but got punded too hard to get mana to use em (esp once braids got out) as for grinder 4, opened a delicious green_mana black_mana deck with visara, husk, veggies and tons more. IDeal kickass deck. What I got however was nice, firecat, smith, skill etc... So I played blue_mana red_mana main reason I lost was when he used stuff to kill gobbies when I I smithed em (just abilites totally my bad for not seeing). And combattricks like vitality charm I need to practice a Lot more magic, kicking ass w my deck doesn't man I'm v good, it means I'm v good w that deck. SO off to $5 contr tomorrow.
Penned by at 09:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
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June 23, 2003

Romance and Blogging

T

here was an article I bookmarked and planned to link and talk about about the issues of blogging in a relationship and when the other party might read it ... I wish i could find it right now. I think it might have been off of one of my RSS feeds, therefore lost forever ;p. I'm linking Serena's log again.

Songs of the Sadsiren : Plans and Plants
June 23, 2003 - 2:08 p.m.
Shes so

This heart of mine has been taking me for a ride. There are many thoughts and feelings going through my mind about Riz. There are many things that he's been doing that just scream in my mind "This is what a boyfriend does/says!" But in breaching the subject with some delicacy yesterday, he said that he won't claim to have those kinds of feelings until he's known the person for at least a month. And given that he's headed out of the country next month up to September, with school following immediately after, he thinks that things may change, and he wouldn't want to hurt me by making any claims so soon.
[comments]*friend is a interesting state. I have a friend who was a girlfriend to her current boy for months and refused to use the term out of her personal issues with men etc. I've waited months to have that conversation with a girl, even when it was quite apparent that we were nuts about each other, and with another it took only weeks, although she wasn't nearly as nuts about me as she seemed/said. (or something just clicked in her head to change that). The month deadline is self imposed, but its just for the title, I called Serena asking her to come up multple times, cause I missed her. Yeah, its the act of a commited relationship; it isn't me being a jackass male wanting to avoid commitment, to *play* the field, I specifically didn't go to a party because I didnt WANT to flirt with random girls and try to hook up. I wont claim to those words, the feelings are there. I always treat people the way that I think they should be treated, the title isn't important. I do things for Heather that some people would only think were worthwhile of lovers, not as friends. (no, no, not anything like that you sickos). I don't place much importance in the having of a title, just in the granting of it. Its the opening of emotional tears that easily scar, burn and make one cry, and I really wish to avoid doing that to someone else. (and to myself for that matter, but I don't see myself as that invested yet))[/comments]

Well, duh....but even with that logic in mind, my heart can't help the feelings it's developed. While small and manageable enough to remove if necessary....I know I do love him.
[comments]There goes my dad's comments made (while, in anger), that if I dont change, I'll never find someone to love me. Or my insecurity that theres something unlovable about me. But its too quick... not because I'm scared, but because im in disbelief. As I did with sex, I hold love on a pedestal. Its something above mortal men, and while the last week has been great, I dont think its been so terribly amazing to warrant someone feeling that strongly about me, unless I treat them better than anyone has, and just as importantly, tell them that they DESERVE to be treated well ... Thats what i think it might be.[/comments]

I didn't tell him my thoughts on love. It's not something you just feel for a lover, or family....you feel it for your friends as well, to some extent. So whether it evolves to just friendship, or something more, it is love. In my mind, it's as simple as that. Like plants
I don't know what will happen when Riz is gone. I don't know if he'll call and send messages as he has been, if he'll miss me, if he'll forget altogether. My instincts say he will remember.....but if he's so keen to have doubts, it's hard for me to maintain my own faith.
[comments]Well, first I'll be in Uzbekistan, so phone messages are less likely. I'll miss her, as I'll miss everyone else and as I miss physical and emotional accompniment. Its just ... I always have this phase in dating someone when I am unsure if I like them for them, or if I like them because they like me ... Does anyone else out there run into that? Either way, thats always something I've had to deal with, and the only way to know for sure is to take time. I've always ended up liking the person for themselves, and not just because they like me, but I've only had to ask that question of myself a few times... One of the many reasons I dont want to rush.
Love as friendship grows even slower than passionate love, IMO. I can use only one example, only one that has nothing to do with family involvements or even growing up together... I love heather. She is my best friend, my confidant, the person i call when im happy or sad. I'd do just about anything for her, and I literally get teary eyed thinking about how much I care for her. That took years and years. I dont see how someone can feel that in months or weeks. You can care a LOT, but love ... love is different.[/comments]

I'm trying not to submit to all my urges to see him and stay with him. That resulted in some fuck ups and embarassing moments during the week, which I would like to avoid. A part of me also wants him to *really* want to see me....and that desire won't be there if I'm already there. So I give him his space. He said he was gonna spend this weekend away from me, I kept my mouth shut and was fine with it. And oddly enough, he called me Saturday, seeking my presence after just one day apart. It gave Eric a laugh to see him messaging me so often that night, as I was hanging out with him at Val's house at the time.
[comments]I dont believe in gameplaying, and I always hated "absence makes the heart grow fonder," but it does. When shes with me part of me wants her to go and do her stuff so I can act like life is like it was two weeks ago (Even though I wasn't really happy with it then). The other half wants her to stay desperately, I love making food for her, lying on her lap while she plays video games, clenching her when shes feeling down...
heres the thing. I'm in love with the concept of being there for someone. Always have been. Distingiushing that, from emotion for that person has always been tough. [/comments]

But I only do it because *he* needs the space. History shows that I've not been one about having the social life with various circles of friends. Like Mom has indirectly taught me, I can be happy if I have the one person in my life to do things with. Mom isn't out with the girls on off nights of the week, nor is Pete with the guys. For the most part, they enjoy life at home together, though on occasion they will do their own tasks, particularly when it comes to family.
[comments]I suddenly remember Tara, and her opinion that if she had a good spouse/mate who was her best friend, she had almost everything she needed in the world. Her parents were the same. Whats funny is that my parents are the same too, but I dont buy into it. They need other people and are just now realizing that they need friends and that they *aren't* always best friends. Relying upon one person for your happiness is dangerous to both you and that person... puts too much pressure both ways and complicates that. I've been in that position with girlfriends and friends and no one wants to be THAT needed, to the point were one loses their own independence out of oligation to the other...[/comments]

I would like that. Heck, even before they started living together I wanted that, thanks to my interest in Erik (The Phantom, for you newbies in the audience. See the k?). But I've yet to meet someone of a similar mindset. Riz in some ways is, but he does have a strong attachment to his family and a few friends.
[comments]I know people like that, and I was like that in some way. My attachment to my family is unconditional and won't stop, but before I prioritized girls over friends ... that was wrong (to use a crude "guyism", bros over hoes). Of course, none of my friends are ever "bros", so...[/comments]

It's possible that he might read this, which I don't mind. I don't think there's a whole lot here that I've not spoken with him about, and for what things he doesn't understand, I've certainly got no troubles explaining. Read on, my friend, read on...
[comments]I had to scroll all the way down to find out if she had any problems with me reading and commenting BEFORE i got to read the entire thing ;p[/comments]

Im out of comments again and tired of self-analyzing.
G'night.

Penned by at 06:32 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
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The Mike and Ben Show

I

'm using this as a reminder to remind me to post about what happeend with the M/B show, why a google of "Rizwan Kassim," shows two pages of very unkind words regarding me, why they are partially justified (and very much unjustified).

Penned by at 06:08 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
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Fucking Minorities

F

irst, I'm a minority. I'm a non-white (non-asian, non-hispanic, non-black) engineer. (Granted im of Indo Pakistani descent, but then again I am also "African American" by those standards (yes, mum's birthplace of Tazania is in Africa, and no, you shouldn't have to be black to be African American.))

I've got a learning disability that about 5% of the US population has, so I'm a minority there too.

Now this.

WASHINGTON (June 23) - In its most significant statement about race in a generation, a divided Supreme Court allowed the nation's colleges and universities to select students based in part on race, ruling Monday that diverse classrooms mold good citizens and strong leaders.

The court emphasized that race cannot be the overriding factor, but a majority acknowledged a broad social value in encouraging all races to learn and work together.

''In order to cultivate a set of leaders with legitimacy in the eyes of the citizenry, it is necessary that the path to leadership be visibly open to talented and qualified individuals of every race and ethnicity,'' Justice Sandra Day O'Connor wrote for the 5-4 majority.

At issue was whether admissions policies that give one racial group an edge unconstitutionally discriminate against other groups.

In two decisions involving the University of Michigan, the court underscored that racial quotas are unconstitutional but left room for the nation's public universities - and by extension other public and private institutions - to seek ways to take race into account.

''The court has in essence provided the nation with a road map on how to construct affirmative action programs in higher education that are constitutionally acceptable,'' said NAACP President Kweisi Mfume.

The court preserved the rules outlined 25 years ago in a landmark ruling that underpin the consideration of race at institutions or gatherings as diverse as military academies, corporate boardrooms and campus leadership retreats.

In the earlier ruling a different group of justices struck down a quota system that had excluded a white student from medical school, but they allowed less structured forms of affirmative action.

So, what, if you don't call it by race but something less "Structured," its okay to deny seats to deserving people?

''Diversity is one of America's greatest strengths,'' President Bush said after Monday's ruling. ''Today's decisions seek a careful balance between the goal of campus diversity and the fundamental principle of equal treatment under the law.''

Opponents of affirmative action, including some of Bush's close advisers, had hoped the Supreme Court would use this opportunity to ban most consideration of race in any government decisions. The court is far more conservative than in 1978, when it last ruled on affirmative action in higher education admissions, and the justices have put heavy conditions on government affirmative action in other arenas over the past decade.

O'Connor said the value of diverse classrooms extends far beyond the campus. Justices John Paul Stevens, David Souter, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stephen Breyer joined her endorsement of a program in place at the University of Michigan's law school.

The law school uses an inexact admissions formula that gives extra consideration to blacks, Hispanics and to applicants from other groups the school says have historically suffered from discrimination.

The program has produced minority enrollment of between 12 percent and 20 percent over the past decade. There is no fixed target, the school said.

''This court has long recognized that 'education is the very foundation of good citizenship,''' O'Connor wrote, quoting from another landmark ruling, the Brown v. Board of Education decision that integrated public schools.

''For this reason, the diffusion of knowledge and opportunity through public institutions of higher education must be accessible to all individuals regardless of race or ethnicity,'' O'Connor wrote.

At the same time, the court struck down a more rigid, point-based admissions policy for University of Michigan undergraduates. That vote was 6-3, with three of the court's more liberal justices dissenting.

The difference was a matter of degree. The Constitution permits schools to consider an applicant's race as one among many factors when weighing which students will win a place at a top-notch school, O'Connor wrote in the more significant law school ruling. What a school cannot do, she and other justices said, is install inflexible or automatic racial preferences.

The law school and its backers argued that a ''critical mass'' of minority students is essential to break down racial stereotypes and benefits the entire student body. Minorities must be present in more than token numbers to ensure all students can interact, the university has said.

But no student's transcript will note that he or she ''Works and Plays Well With Others,'' Justice Antonin Scalia retorted, in mocking reference to language more often associated with grade school report cards.

I never worked or played well with others.

The importance of ''cross-racial understanding,'' or of simply getting along with other people, is a lesson of life learned by ''people three feet shorter and 20 years younger than the full-grown adults at the University of Michigan Law School, in institutions ranging from Boy Scout troops to public school kindergartens,'' Scalia wrote in dissent.

Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist and Justices Anthony M. Kennedy and Clarence Thomas also dissented in the law school case.

Thomas, the court's only black justice, accused the law school of maintaining ''an exclusionary admissions system that it knows produces racially disproportionate results.''

''Racial discrimination is not a permissible solution to the self-inflicted wounds of this elitist admissions policy,'' he wrote.

Go Thomas! That being said, Elitist? Its a top tier school, what do you want, some sort of grassroots admission campaign that doesn't look at scholastic requirements. Yes, I got into UCLA, so you can say that I'm one of the *elite* and therefore haven't been discriminated against... but I didnt get into Stanford, Caltech, Berkeley, Harvey Mudd, Mit, Harvard, Yale, etc; so I did feel their effects. I got into the place that was best for me, both in comparison with my scholastic abilities (I don't think it was in line with my Engineering abilities, though), and my social/peer needs. I'm happy there. Elitism isn't always wrong.

Michigan says it accepts only academically qualified students, no matter their race.

In the companion case, O'Connor joined Rehnquist, Scalia, Kennedy, Thomas and Stephen Breyer to strike down the undergraduate school's 150-point grading system. The school automatically gave minorities a 20-point bonus, more than for some measures of academic excellence, writing ability or leadership skills. Outstanding athletes also got 20 points, as did impoverished applicants.

I can kinda see the impoverished applicants part, but ATHLETES? I'd like to see the rest of the grading to see if 20 pts made any sense for any of these categories ... i'm not even a fan of the 20 pts for impoverished applicants, but its a LOT better than racial affirmitive action, and if it meant the death of racial affirmitive action, I'd support economic A.A. a million times over. Its a much better alternative.

Stevens, Souter and Ginsburg dissented.

The cases put the Bush administration in an awkward spot. The White House had sided with white applicants rejected at the Michigan schools but had not called for an outright end to affirmative action.

In the end, the high court made only bare mention of the administration's argument that race-neutral alternatives to affirmative action are already working in Bush's home state of Texas and elsewhere.

Affirmative action programs should not go on forever, O'Connor wrote. ''We expect that 25 years from now, the use of racial preferences will no longer be necessary.''

The law school case is Grutter v. Bollinger, 02-241; the undergraduate case is Gratz v. Bollinger, 02-516.

AP-NY-06-23-03 1714EDT

Penned by at 06:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
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June 21, 2003

Serena

S

o, theres this girl. Serena. I haven't mentioned her up until now because (ex-gf2) might still be reading the blog and I don't want to hurt her. And I wasn't sure how I felt about Serena, for that matter. and a million other reasons.

Turns out shes a blogger too. Quite possibly as nuts as I. Included is her blog of us meeting up. (Saves me from having to write it)

Songs of the Sadsiren


To Someone Out There,

Mom recently had me start reading a book called 'The Luck Factor', which talked about why certain aspects of a person's character makes them more or less lucky than others. At first I felt this book was just one guy's way of making money on those seeking an answer to better themselves (and honestly, it still kinda seems that way)....but what's amusing is how in taking some of the info and advice in mind, some good things have been happening.

[snip]

woke up at 8am the next day, I decided to continue recording some auditions, when lo and behold I was caught online by one of my HotorNot-ers, Rizwan. *^^*

In life, there is always that magic element that is chemistry. It can make two people passionate for each other, or it can make one person not too comfortable with doing much with the other. Wanna take a guess which one Riz was? ^-^
[comment] Me saying, "Calm down, theres no reason to be nervous," or "Relax!" often kinda helped too :) [/comment]

He was very friendly and funny while talking to me online, so when he invited me to the last day of Ren Faire (as he had a free pass), I was all too happy to oblige. We met up at a Starbucks near the Ontario Mills Mall, and he drove me the rest of the way to the Faire. I was very delighted with the man I saw before me. He could fit the tall, dark and handsome line well, as he was all the above (a little taller than me, and of Pakistan ethnicity). I was hopeful I was not a let down to him......Yes, I'd had enough of the 'weight issue' people!
[comment] I've dated people of all sizes, and while my stupid initial reactions varied, I found the character of a person and their overall attractiveness had little to do with their body shape/size. Yes, its a factor, but so is everything else in the world... If every girl wore glasses, pigtails, was as thin as a model, with a smile like Serena's or (ex-gf2) 's, a brain to match etc, well... the world isn't like that. I forget that people think of me as Pakistani ... I see myself as white too often. Dark and Handsome eh? :BIG SMILE:[/comments]

Thank God, Riz did not fail me in the slightest! ~_^

I was actually a bit surprised when, while sitting and waiting for Sound & Fury to start their final performance of Testaclese for Faire, he leaned over and kissed my forehead. I in turn kissed his cheek, blushing from both the bright sun and his charming gaze. We ended up kissing full on the lips, and it made for a very fun final day of Faire. We wandered outside of Faire to the neighboring park and lie in the grass, kissing, holding each other. While being of such descent, Riz was very much an open-minded American! It was almost astounding, even now as I think about it.
[comment]First, being brown doesn't make one close-minded or (whatever the oppositie of easy is), and just as importantly, I was born and raised here. God that Sound and Fury show was hot... the sun ... Bleh... incredibly uncomfortable; the show would have been a lot funnier if it were twenty degrees cooler[/comment]

Oh, Squeamish family, stop reading now.

He confided that he'd never gone all the way before, but the chemistry was so strong between us, that he seemed ready and willing to share his first time with me. So, we ended up renting a room at a Motel 6 not far from Faire. At first, we merely played with each other, Riz making the very astounding gesture of pleasuring me with his tongue (pierced, no less!). Already, he was better than how most guys would be on a first date. I returned the favor in kind, bringing him to a very strong bout of ecstacy. Our appetites built up, we went to dinner at the Olive Garden (which I hadn't been to in years!), and had some very delicious meals.
[comment]I'm not normally this easy.[/comment]

I want to note how much of a gentleman Riz was during this entire time. Every time we entered his car, he opened the door for me. He payed for my entry into Faire, fetched me drinks, bought me dinner, got a room, always asked if anything he did was okay (kissing, touching). I was just amazed the entire time at how wonderful he seemed to be. *_*
[comment]Seriously, is there another way to act? I don't get it. I've gotten over thinking that I'm somehow taking advantage of a girl by romancing her (and therefore needing to make it up to her by being a gentleman)... that being said, why not treat someone as they should be treated... I expect a girl to pick up the check once in a while, and to open the door from the inside, why shouldn't they expect it from me ... (ex-gf2) told me that I set the standard for all the guys that followed. Serena said I was spoiling her. God, when will women realize that they all deserve to be spoiled. (And in turn, should spoil their men).[/comment]
After dinner, we returned to the motel, and after some more playing, Riz was enticed to try for all the way. He started feeling so nervous though that we couldn't then though. I wasn't unhappy though....I knew that soon he'd feel more ready.
[comment]Near constant SMS's back and forth between HeatherW, and I. I had once exclaimed that I wanted my first time to be with someone else whos first time it also was (the syntax sucked there); but after all that, fuck no. Its bad enough being embarassed and confused yourself while your mate is understanding .. two totally confused people.. hell no.[/comment]

It was nearly 2am when we fetched my car from Starbucks, and I decided to stay at the motel and see Riz again Monday. He went home to help out his sister with some things, as well as to not worry her about where he was.

At around 11, Riz gave me directions to his place, and I drove up to see him. He was living with his parents now that he was out of UCLA and working at their shipping company. They had an incredibly big and beautiful house. It's a shame it's so far from LA, but it truly was incredible. Even more so were the pictures adorning the walls. A few of the older black and white photos reminded me of pictures of Dad's family when they were young. The memory brought on a slight sadness that I tried to keep in check. It was hard, given the mention of Father's day weekend, but I did not cry.
[comment]I'm always surprised when people are amazed at the house .. (ex-gal) was, Heather was, Serena was ... Guess I just got used to it.[/comment]

Riz fixed me some eggs and toast, and we sat together, watching a movie, lying in each other's arms, kissing. Two more times we attempted to go all the way, the third time being the charm. ~_^ I can't quite explain the feeling of bringing someone that complete moment of pleasure for their first time. It always makes me feel completely happy and content. Riz had joked earlier that my liking my experiences with virgins in the past was like a God-send (or something similar)....it does kinda feel that way, when they do not regret the moment. And Riz certainly had no regrets. ^-^

As evening drew near, I realized that Riz had work to do and I would have to depart. He promised to see me Wednsday, perhaps even spending the night. Trying very hard to fight off the pouty "I don't wanna go!" feelings, I headed to my car and drove home.

A question has been itching at my brain since....one that I've tried very hard not to seek an answer for, since it's too soon...."Can he be considered...a boyfriend?"

*sighs* >.< I really fall too fast.

Honestly, I was so tempted to say the words....I told myself over and over, "Serena, slow the fuck down! If you wanna make this one stay, don't bring that kind of shit up until he does!!" Things seemed ever so subtle though! He called me Sweetie....a gesture I wouldn't expect a friend to call a friend normally...but I can't assume! I can't!
[comment] Those of you that know me, know that I used the phrase Sweetie, pretty losely, but it does remind me how much people can read into words, as do I. But yes, I do like her. I'm also leaving for Uzbek on the 8th.[/comment]

We'll just see what happens. Who knows, the distance might be difficult, he may find things not to like about me....I don't know. He made me feel wonderful today...and I couldn't find a single thing wrong with him. I could look around his room and see signs of his intelligence, his healthy family life....what will he see in my room? I've no articles, no accomplishments, not even many pictures....As I look around the room I can imagine what he'd think....I'm a child, into games and fairy tales, toys, and having an odd obsession with Phantom of the Opera. And that's *just* from the bedroom. There's still the living room to consider, with the Legolas/Gimli standee, the clutter, and the 5 cats!

Oi... -_-

I'm not truly embarassed of those things. I love my books and toys and Phantom stuff! I'd just like it if perhaps he....or somebody...would like it too...or at the very least accept it.

Must...slow...down...

Of course, it doesn't help to listen to songs like this:

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Serena, the Sadsiren

[comment] I'm out of comments. Time to hit post.[/comment]

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\n"; } } if (!($n)) { echo "No search terms yet
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"; ?>

June 20, 2003

FNM

M

ore FNM; I bragged a bit about Serena indirectly ... dating a girl that knows anything about magic is a total kudo ;p

Round 1 : Arrived late cause i printed out proxies for my new Scourge deck ideas, Bye.

Round 2 : Mirror match with a Zombie/Cemetary deck ... he never got a wretch out and a timely mutilate saved me from a burgening Soulless One... man, those fuckers are scary in Zombie v. Zombie games. Went 2:1.

Round 3 : Elves. Went easily, even though my timely Engineered Plague was countered by an Elvish Champion, the one card missing from the LA regionals deck. Hilight of the first round win was having three rotlung reanimators out, two withered wretches, and a cabal archon, then bane of the living for 3 .... 18 black_mana zombie tokens, 2/2. It was a wonderful thing to see.

Round 4 : This was odd, went against a black_mana red_mana deck with burn, Soul Scourge's and the like.

Round 5 : This is where it gets interesting. Against my dire enemy, Ricardo, the asshole that made fun of me the first week, so I *must* beat him. He's taken 1st place the two weeks I was away, so it was time to regain my throne, or at least unseat him. Died First round, Ensnaring Bridge almost saving me from a Goblin goon, but lost mainly because I emptied his GY out as soon as I got a Withered Wretch out, and didnt just remove what needed to be removed (therefore not having extra mana to counter his pumped Flame Burst... game 2 : good Smother, Engineered Plague and Bane of the Living timings (hitting him for 4 a turn hurts a lot)... Third game was a timely Smother on a Goblin Piledriver (that would have otherwise been doing critical damage), a good Mutilate, good Engineered Plague, then waiting for him to use most of his burn before I Haunting Echoes'ed him with only flameburst not in his GY ... next card he would have drawn was a Flame burst, also... (I was at 2 life). ... I survived with one turn extra (his next card was a Browbeat, which would have let him hit me with his 2nd card in, Flame Burst. but I won...

Game 5 : Elves again. Same guy. Game 1, loss from pumelling. Game 2, Shade and friends raped him, even with a plague in my hand unused. Third game, just like the first. .. why did i lose? One card, Voice of the Woods. Was a fun game though, and im happy to have lost.

Traded some rares and u/c, filled out more of torment, got a few scourge rares, incl. stifle...

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My girls music!

R

ivendale Music Company

And for those of you who are expecting this, it's the grand debut of myself and Ms. Serena aka Sadsiren in Forever Rachel, an arrangement of Locke's theme from FFVI in minor mode by Stephen Kennedy, of Project Majestic Mix fame. In fact, the music for this is FROM Project Majestic Mix - Gold Edition. Check out the website at KFSS Studios.

My Girls Music!

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Precious update to my darling phone

treocentral.com >> Stories >> Hardware >> Treo 600 Revealed

The Treo 600 crams a 144 MHz ARM powered Palm OS 5 organizer, a GSM/GPRS or CDMA module (depending on version), a fully integrated QWERTY keyboard, a five-way navigation pad, a 160x160 bright color screen, a VGA (640x480) camera, 32 MB Ram, a SD/MMC slot, an improved battery and audio system, and enhanced communication applications into a small phone-like form factor. (4.41 inches x 2.26 inches x 0.87 (LxWxD), about 6 oz depending on model)
ITS SO PRETTY


The five-way navigation system (up, down, left, right, center) is a welcomed addition. The pad is tightly integrated with the core software, and makes it easy to move within and between applications using one hand. According to Michelle, the integration is so superb that the stylus is only really needed for applications that are not 5-way enabled.

The Treo 600 family also adds an SD/SDIO/MMC slot. This slot, located on the top of the device was also found on the Treo 90, and on all current Palm models. It enables the use of SD and MMC media for storage of more programs and MP3 audio or video and SD content cards like dictionaries, or game packs. More importantly it also is SDIO enabled, meaning that it will work with hardware accessory cards like Veo's SD photo card, Margi's SD presenter-to-go, or Sandisk's upcoming Wi-Fi and Bluetooth cards.

Probably the largest change that the user will never notice is the entirely revamped audio system that the Treo 600 now has. For the first time ever, Handspring has integrated the microphone into the Palm unit itself.
Developers can also access the phone stream to record the conversation, and with the 144 MHz processor perhaps encode it as an MP3 and store it on an SD card.

Handspring also changed the speaker set up for the Treo 600. They have implemented a dual speaker architecture with one speaker on the front, and one on the back to give maximum sound quality. The speaker on the front is in the earpiece and is used for the phone. The speaker on the back is a large, non-piezo speaker offering the capability of playing music, ring tones, or anything in large range of tones.

A VGA (640x480) camera is built into the back of the Treo 600. This has been tightly integrated into the Treo 600 software allowing it to be used to take normal JPEG pictures, send pictures using MMS or picture messaging, setting up picture caller ID, and adding backgrounds to the main phone screen.

A dual-band CDMA radio (800/1900 MHz Digital only) and a quad-band GSM/GPRS radio will power respective versions of the product. The CDMA radio supports Sprint's e911 GPS technology, and works with their Vision high-speed data network. The GSM version is a true world phone, and will support 4 channels up, and 2 channels down (only 5 at once however). I believe that this means it is class 10 GPRS device. It will be able to receive at up to 48 kbps. (Almost standard dialup speeds) Handspring refused to comment on the specifics of the suppliers of each radio, and the other technology that they may support.

(Whats really really really annoying is that the CDMA version doesnt support GSM so if I get it, I can't use it internationally. Fuckers.)

One of the major complaints about the Treo 270 and 300 was the lack of battery life… A paltry 2.5 hours of talk time was claimed. The Treo 600 changes this, and built in is an 1800 mAh battery. Handspring claims 6 hours of talk time with the GSM version, and 5 hours with the CDMA. We were also told that an external battery which will clip on the back will be available at launch, or soon after launch. It will be 1200 mAh.

Ringtones are much easier to work with in the new Treo 600. Using Blazer, one is able to download any midi file and install right on the spot. However, at this moment one cannot desktop sync ring tones onto the device. Also, standard wav files, or mp3 files cannot be used, but due to Handspring's advanced audio architecture it may be possible with third party software.

The Treo 600 family features a full color screen with a resolution of 160x160. While this is not what many TreoCentral readers had hoped for, a lower resolution screen is better on the battery, and more practical for such a small device. The screen has been described to us by one individual as "blindingly bright", and it is viewable both indoors and outdoors. The dot pitch is 0.27.

(I REALLY REALLY NEED TO "EVAULUATE" ONE OF THESE WHEN THEY COME AROUND.)

To use OS 5 to its fullest, Handspring rewrote much of the software for the phone user interface. When you hit the phone button you are taken to a skin able, customizable "start page". From this start page the user can navigate using the dial pad to any application that they have configured. By default, speed dial, phone book, dial pad, Blazer, email will be listed. Direct dialing with the keyboard is still possible from this view. Also, Handspring has kept the same address book with quick lookup features.


Speed Dial supports several new features including the ability to setup photo caller ID. A nifty why didn't they think about that before feature is the ability to hit space over any speed dial entry and get the full list of phone numbers for that individual. There are 50 spaces in the Treo 600 families speed dial.

Handspring is working with carriers and business partners to prepare rich email, SMS, and MMS solutions that will be customized for specific channels and announced in more detail this summer. GSM models will include an MMS client that is integrated with the Treo camera, and Sprint CDMA version will include a custom picture messaging software.

On the GSM version, Handspring has added a new feature to SMS called SMS chat view. When having a multi-sms conversation with somebody the rapid succession of messages can clutter up the inbox. Using chat view it combines all these recent messages from one person and turns it into a clean window that looks a lot like IM. No word on Sprint 2-way text messaging.

Blazer has been rewritten as a proxy less browser to enable full web browsing and secure access to corporate intranets. Blazer now includes support for frames and Javascript. Handspring claimed that speed was not greatly affected by the lack of a proxy on slower connections. (Specifically CSD).

We wondered why Handspring got rid of the proxy, since in our opinion the automatic down sampling of images was a helpful feature to speed up connections. Handspring told us that none of the carriers wanted to have this middle ware solution. All in all, Handspring claims Blazer has been significantly improved to be a better web browser for the Treo, with a better interface thanks to the five way navigator.

Treo 600 series products are expected to come at a price premium relative to current Treo offerings, and Handspring plans to offer a compelling trade-up incentive for owners of wireless Treo products. No comments could be provided for the compelling trade-up incentive, or pricing. However Greg Shirai of Handspring claimed in a CNET video a possible price range of $400-$500.


(A tradeup incentive would rock. If I could get a 600 for $300 or less, Id get it immediately.)

New 600 Interface pics

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June 18, 2003

S

alon.com Technology | Can anyone stop the music cops?

Can anyone stop the music cops?
As Hollywood wins one court case after another, one Republican senator is suggesting that maybe it's time for some new laws -- that protect consumers instead of entertainment companies.

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Nudism

O

ld Enough to Make a Lanyard, and to Do It Nude

Here at the Youth Leadership Camp run by the American Association for Nude Recreation, the dress code for regular volleyball — and for the pudding toss, mini-golf and campfire sing-alongs — is the same as it is for skinny dipping.
Basking in what nudist organizations say is a growing interest in nude recreation, the association has begun a nationwide expansion of summer camps for nudists age 11 to 18. The first began here 10 years ago, in a county north of Tampa known for its concentration of nudist resorts. In 2000, the association opened its second camp in Arizona.

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Fun With Words

F

un With Words: Collective Nouns

One of the craziest oddities of the English language is that there are so many different collective nouns that all mean "group" but which are specific to what particular thing there is a group of: a herd of elephants, a crowd of people, a box of crayons, a pad of paper, etc. There is great diversity of collective nouns associated with animals, from a sleuth of bears to a murder of crows. The following is a list of the correct terms to describe groups of various types of animals.

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WHAT THE FUCK

T

he Register

The Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, Orrin Hatch (Republican, Utah), thinks it would be a fabulous idea if copyright owners could remotely destroy computers that contain pirated material, the Associated Press reports.

"I'm all for destroying their machines," Hatch said during a Committee hearing Tuesday. "'If you have a few hundred thousand of those, I think people would realize' the seriousness of their actions," the wire service quotes him as saying.

This would involve creating new legislation to exempt copyright owners from old-fashioned laws that make it a crime to destroy other people's property, and from somewhat newer computer trespass and misuse statutes as well.


Speaking of Fuck, I had sex for the first time Monday.
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June 16, 2003

Just Lovely

T

rekWeb.com - STAR TREK's Cable Home Receives Legal 'Spike' in Battle Over New Name

In an interesting twist yesterday, New York State Supreme Court Justice Walter Tolub temporarily barred Viacom from changing its cable network TNN to "SpikeTV," according to Zap2it. The court order grants an injunction requested by well known director Spike Lee, who claims that the new moniker seeks to cash in on his name and celebrity status.

TNN is of course the home for reruns of STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION, with both DEEP SPACE NINE and VOYAGER coming to the network over the next few years. Originally The Nashville Network, Viacom has rapidly repurposed TNN since acquiring it and now seeks to brand the channel as a cable network "for men," in opposition to channels tailored to women like Lifetime and Oxygen. Other programming includes James Bond movie marathons, wrestling, and a new Pamela Anderson-voiced, Stan Lee-penned cartoon called STRIPPERELLA.

Despite the seeming common usage of the word "spike" as both a noun and verb in everyday language, judge Tolub felt plaintiff Lee's attorneys made a convincing case.

"Contrary to defendants' position, the court is of the opinion that in the age of mass communication, a celebrity can in fact establish a vested right in the use of only their first name or a surname. There are many celebrities that are so recognized, including Cher, Madonna, Sting and Liza."

Viacom is appealing the decision and Lee has been ordered to pay a $500,000 bond to cover the media giant's losses from the injunction if it is overturned.

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June 08, 2003

Radio

s

alon :: :: tech :: feature :: National Private Radio, By Lorenzo W. Milam :: Page 1

"What do we get for $100,000,000 a year? "The Savvy Traveler""

... And I thought I was all smart being a massive NPR fan and all. Turns out I should be listening to the Beeb and CBC instead.

Tomorrow : all about my nifty friend, the iPOD :)

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\n"; } } if (!($n)) { echo "No search terms yet
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search terms [hits]"; } echo "
"; ?>

June 07, 2003

', "\n"; echo '
', "\n"; $sql = 'SELECT search, time, title, referer, COUNT(*) AS count FROM mt_entryhits WHERE entry_id=144 GROUP BY referer ORDER BY count DESC, title'; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ((strpos($referer1,'ttp://') == 1) && ($search == 0) && (trim($title) !== '-') && (trim($title) !== '')) { $n++; echo ''; echo $title . " [" . $count . "]
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\n"; } } if (!($n)) { echo "No search terms yet
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\n"; } } if (!($n)) { echo "No search terms yet
"; } else { echo "
search terms [hits]"; } echo "
"; ?>

Damn Media Consolidation..

M

ister Minister 6/4/03

Penned by at 02:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
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', "\n"; echo '
', "\n"; $sql = 'SELECT search, time, title, referer, COUNT(*) AS count FROM mt_entryhits WHERE entry_id=142 GROUP BY referer ORDER BY count DESC, title'; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ((strpos($referer1,'ttp://') == 1) && ($search == 0) && (trim($title) !== '-') && (trim($title) !== '')) { $n++; echo ''; echo $title . " [" . $count . "]
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"; ?>

Free Pretty Nasa posters!

E

OS Homepage - EOS Science Poster Series

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', "\n"; echo '
', "\n"; $sql = 'SELECT search, time, title, referer, COUNT(*) AS count FROM mt_entryhits WHERE entry_id=141 GROUP BY referer ORDER BY count DESC, title'; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ((strpos($referer1,'ttp://') == 1) && ($search == 0) && (trim($title) !== '-') && (trim($title) !== '')) { $n++; echo ''; echo $title . " [" . $count . "]
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June 06, 2003

Oh

O

h, by thw way... White girls in saris and dancing like they know the music are INCREDIBLY Hot.

Penned by at 11:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
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', "\n"; echo '
', "\n"; $sql = 'SELECT search, time, title, referer, COUNT(*) AS count FROM mt_entryhits WHERE entry_id=140 GROUP BY referer ORDER BY count DESC, title'; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ((strpos($referer1,'ttp://') == 1) && ($search == 0) && (trim($title) !== '-') && (trim($title) !== '')) { $n++; echo ''; echo $title . " [" . $count . "]
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Family

J

ust as Everet McGill pointed out that women are the worst things to bedevil man, family is as terrible. ... Especially days like today. After wanting to strangle the rents the past few days, a new fight erupted over whether sis would come to the wedding or not. ... Fights erupted over the cellphone while at the party, unfair accusations, tears, curses...
Then sis came. It was all smiles. We sat next to each other watching the entertainment @ the party with the previously arguing forgtten, family holding hands, laughing and hugging like nothing happened. I felt like the only one to even remember that there was an argument to begin with.
sis did the social necessities visitng people and saying hello an all... Dad and sis held hands, I asked mum for cash to give as a gift to my sis...

My family is nuts. But I love them so much. And my sister... Doubly so. She's got a bitof every fault in the world and every possible positive trait anyone could ask for. I don't know what its like to love a girl, but I do know what love is. It is family.

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', "\n"; echo '
', "\n"; $sql = 'SELECT search, time, title, referer, COUNT(*) AS count FROM mt_entryhits WHERE entry_id=139 GROUP BY referer ORDER BY count DESC, title'; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ((strpos($referer1,'ttp://') == 1) && ($search == 0) && (trim($title) !== '-') && (trim($title) !== '')) { $n++; echo ''; echo $title . " [" . $count . "]
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June 05, 2003

Normal

I

'm at a massive wedding given by the richest people in the ville... Well its the piti, effectively the day before. After an infuriating day delivering a display with the rents, in which theonly positive fact was showing them an iPod and getting them to agree to get me one, we showed up at the dinner ... Many hours late. Of course what "youngsters" there are clumped already playing pool. There's a fundamental difference 'tween the rest of the world and I. THey have the ability to be normal. I don't. Spending time with Ger and HeatherW convinced me ofthat. Even among these lovably oddball people, I can't fit in. There's always one emotion felt too deeply, one witticism not understood, one story that makes me sound odder than before. Ima t the wedding, only person dressed as formally as I am within 4 years of my age. There's either an interest gap, an intellectual gap: I'm constantly afraid that someone is going to discover that I'm the same guy that people like this (i.e. Everyone) mocked earlier on in life. I'm the guy who claims to have been beaten up many timesin highschool, while it wasonly two times. Its twice asbadwith indians, I don't speak the language I'm pakistani, I'm outging and make jokea that others don't.

Its just a lot for me to bear ( and constantly martyr myself to. )

Penned by at 10:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
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', "\n"; echo '
', "\n"; $sql = 'SELECT search, time, title, referer, COUNT(*) AS count FROM mt_entryhits WHERE entry_id=138 GROUP BY referer ORDER BY count DESC, title'; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ((strpos($referer1,'ttp://') == 1) && ($search == 0) && (trim($title) !== '-') && (trim($title) !== '')) { $n++; echo ''; echo $title . " [" . $count . "]
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June 04, 2003

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geeks better than all

L

ike I said to (ex-gf1) , Engineers make better lovers.

Actually that has nothing to do with the post, I was just bragging


"All else may shift rappidly, undermining all that lay before, but there will always be one constant:
geek shoes with unit vectors on the toes are just nifty. "

As for someone else taking my exams for me :

> "Well since I'm not taking my exam with the rest of the class, you could always walk in and claim to be me"
Heatherw:
"Rizwan Kassim?"
"Yep, that's me."
"You sure don't look like a Kassim."
"I was adopted."
*Pause*
"And they named you Rizwan?"
"They didn't like me very much. Can I have that exam, please?"

Plus, what does a girl know about dynamics anyhow. *hides*



SAN FRANCISCO (June 14) - Ed Rosenthal, the self-proclaimed ``Guru of Ganja,'' walked free Wednesday after a federal judge sentenced him to just one day in prison for growing marijuana Rosenthal said was for medical purposes. He could have gotten 60 years behind bars.

U.S. District Judge Charles Breyer said Rosenthal genuinely believed that what he was doing was not against the law. ``He was unaware his conduct was not immunized from federal prosecution,'' the judge said.

In January, a jury concluded Rosenthal was growing more than 100 plants, conspired to cultivate marijuana, and maintained an Oakland warehouse for a growing operation.

Rosenthal, 58, had said he was acting as an agent for Oakland's medical marijuana program, an outgrowth of a 1996 measure approved by California's voters that allows sick people to obtain marijuana with a letter from a doctor.

But the judge did not allow the jurors to hear those arguments, and several of them later said they would have acquitted Rosenthal had they known.

The judge sentenced Rosenthal to one day in prison, then set him free after crediting him with time already served, saying the defendant ``had a reasonable belief that what he did was not contrary to law.''

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', "\n"; echo '
', "\n"; $sql = 'SELECT search, time, title, referer, COUNT(*) AS count FROM mt_entryhits WHERE entry_id=136 GROUP BY referer ORDER BY count DESC, title'; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ((strpos($referer1,'ttp://') == 1) && ($search == 0) && (trim($title) !== '-') && (trim($title) !== '')) { $n++; echo ''; echo $title . " [" . $count . "]
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\n"; } } if (!($n)) { echo "No search terms yet
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"; ?>

Do guys suck?

O

kay, I've got this friend named Mika. Shes a girl. Actually I've got a lot of friends that are girls and because of that I spent a hell of a long time "over" respecting women if such a concept exists, or at least being totally fearful and sublimated.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/tobasc0cat/18492.html#cutid1

The reasons are here.

Mika expressed them and I remember how much I really really hate my gender.
(I'm not a big fan of the women often enough though, so ...)

my comments are interspered with [] just cause im not smart enough to let her shining comments show, but feel the need to defend myself/gender, or totally agree.



I don't want to be female.

This doesn't mean I want to be male, either, just that I'm tired and done with being gendered for the moment.

I'm frustraited and confused and upset as all hell that the value placed upon me is not for conversation or spirit or ability, but because I've got curves and the ability to be fucked.

[Mika, to be honest; there needs to be a conditional in there somewhere. I found you attractive cause of your spirit and ability for conversation, I didnt say, damn theres a bombshell, I talked and said, wow, shes funny .. she smart. Yeah, if it were a guy, I wouldn't have spent the rest of the night hitting on them infront of their SO, so point taken. Curves + ability to be fucked does not make someone attractive.]

I'm tired of being outnumbered in my own field,

[yeah that sucks. I want to say that if I were a male nurse, I'd feel the same way, but I probably wouldn't. The problem is is that i cant dismiss what you say with "well you flaunt being a girl with what you wear", how you act, etc. cause AFAIK, you dont! ]

I'm tired of the condescending comments, I'm tired of the three-jokes-a-day about how all I have to do is approach my TA/prof "properly" and I won't have grade worries anymore.

[ I've made those jokes to men and women alike. Its been suggested to me. And its inappropriate in all those instances, and you should kick a guy in the balls for suggesting that. You should also kick other women in sensitive locations for HAVING done so and making it known. My Anthro prof pointed something out to me ... this is at JC, not at UCLA, so take that into consideration. When there is an exam... women wear sexy clothes. Breasts hanging out, shorter skirts .. and they do! Your own peers are as much to blame... Just as women can blame men for sexual harrasment and be wary (because we have the assholes that do that in our cutlure), women can, and have, historically taken advantage of their sexuality. I've always been of the opinion that if you have nothing else to offer, fine I guess; but I dont spend time talking with anyone that doesnt have anything to offer, so I wouldn't know.[

I'm tired of the suggestion that if I'd just sleep with my TA/prof, he'd have gotten laid, be less grumpy, and everyone would benifit from the good mood.

I'm tired that these jokes are made in half-seriousness, and I'm tired of the obligatory appologies afterwards, about how they didn't really mean it.

[C'est La Vie. I get terrorist jokes. The girl I almost loved called me her little terrorist. Previous girl called me her third-world boy. I get mocked when I don't eat pork, and am reminded how yummy bacon is. People are insensitive. If these people are your friends, make it clear that it isn't accepatable. If they aren't, then fuck em! Any ass who would even joke to say that you should put the professor in a better moods deserves to be shot up with GHB, given knee pads and taken to a local frat party.]

I'm tired of having friendships suspect of ultarian motives. I'm tired of wondering if he enjoys my company, or if he's just trying to get me into bed.

[We've discussed this. Be upfront and consistent. We are taught to think that there is always a chance. I removed you from the potential list when I realized that it wasn't gonna happen; and that I would refuse to be the guy that was a friend until something could happen. You are among geeks, its a common tendency. If you are among atheletes, there are other things you'd have to deal with among your peers. its the same thing.]

I'm tired of knowing that I can't even take it all as a truly left-handed compliment, since it really just comes down to the basic female physical attributes because, after all, you can always turn the lights out and get drunk.

[Yeah. Believe that all you want. Women that might be considered *unattractive* dont have men flocking over just to get some. I've dated girls that might be considered somewhat overweight, and the assholes around me never gave them a second look; yet they were some of the warmest, most affectionate, and kind people I've known. The fact that you are attractive, nifty. But it isn't just because you are a female. Its that you have redeeming qualities. (and im not including physical characteristics here, by the way)]

I AM SICK OF THIS.

I'm tired of the gender games, the wars for power.

I'm tired of watching girls flaunt themselves to attain the power that would otherwise be beyond their reach

[get the other girls to stop this, can't really blame our gender for this.]

; I'm tired of guys doing whatever it takes to convince a girl that she's in control if it means she'll give herself up to him.

[We are told to play these games, we are told that we are "lame" or "desperate" if we don't wait to call, its a two way circle. Cause and effect. Yes it happens and it sucks, but there isn't some male sitting in a corner writing this shit up.]

I'm tired of the vicimization, the refusal to take responsibility for ones own actions, the reveiling of enough skin negating any questions.

[Who the fuck are you hanging out with? Seriously! Who are these people and why are you wasting your time with them?]

I'm tired of seeing myself in the context of these games. I'm saddened that I can't escape them myself, that I'm forever, eternally, unendingly captured by them by virtue of being human.

Lyrics: What on earth can make a brown-eyed girl turn blue/when everything I do, I do for you?

I'm sick of condescending arrogant egotistical maniacs who can't see there are worlds besides their own. I'm tired of sly, simpering submissive creatures spawned by their own inadequacies. I'm tired of the rolls that are played, the rolls that must be filled.

[Sorry kiddo. I'd like to point out that you, and me, and everyone else does all these damn things. I see your points but from my perspective, you see the injustices your pointed out, but only from yours... ]

I am sickened by knowing that I can't even retreat into adrogeny, that I can't remove myself from the system. I am nausiated by knowing the only path to success is by embracing the system, and playing it by following the letter-not-spirit of the rules and catching notice by being an anominaly, but not enough of one to defy classification.

Is it any wonder my future-image is always alone, that I see myself forever a gypsy drifting from one patch of warmth to another without ever having a fixed point of security of my own? Is it any wonder that I am running now?

I am exhausted. I am exhasperated. I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want to play anymore. I don't want to be a part of this system. The advantages do not outweigh the desire for escape tonight.

I want to live on an alien world, surrounded by those so foreign from myself that there is no way to contextualize my gender. I want to be immersed in a culture that cannot classify me, so must accept me as a unique anominaly outside their specifications. I want to live in a world of fish, of small dogs, of light, of robots, of being an outsider unable to truly fit in. I want to experience the world imagined in the Left Hand of Darkness.

[ When you find it, send me a note. I'd not like to be classified as a geek, a nerd, a possible terrorist, brown, Pakistani, socially inept, unattractive, a camel jockey, a guy [and all that stereotype invovles]; I've looked for it for years, I found the best way was to either stop being those things or spend time around people that didn't care. ]

I want a fucking long nap, a week away from here, a scalding hot bath, and hug from my mother.

[ all of those fix almost anything. I think im gonna give my mum a hug now actually...]

Maybe I'll go home this weekend after all.

But, as always, there is physics.

And from this, I take comfort.

====

I was incredibly depressed after reading that. Its utter hyberbole, but I can't help but realizing that it has a basis in truth.

Penned by at 09:01 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
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', "\n"; echo '
', "\n"; $sql = 'SELECT search, time, title, referer, COUNT(*) AS count FROM mt_entryhits WHERE entry_id=135 GROUP BY referer ORDER BY count DESC, title'; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ((strpos($referer1,'ttp://') == 1) && ($search == 0) && (trim($title) !== '-') && (trim($title) !== '')) { $n++; echo ''; echo $title . " [" . $count . "]
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June 02, 2003

Magic Stuff

E

xtracting card pictures (sadly in B/W) from MTGO
http://www.firebow.com/cardpictures.php

Strip Magic: The Naughty Gathering
Whats funny is that it could actually be played. Folks like me automatically see a sexual angle and a way to get a girl in the sack (or vice versa), but ... :ponders: are there actually people more mature than that out there? Do people play Strip Poker for the sheer hell of it? Maybe adults that work together and have had too many tequilas.

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', "\n"; echo '
', "\n"; $sql = 'SELECT search, time, title, referer, COUNT(*) AS count FROM mt_entryhits WHERE entry_id=134 GROUP BY referer ORDER BY count DESC, title'; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ((strpos($referer1,'ttp://') == 1) && ($search == 0) && (trim($title) !== '-') && (trim($title) !== '')) { $n++; echo ''; echo $title . " [" . $count . "]
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Rebates are too much fun

F

rom : geek and proud

I've gone completely insane, and now have far too much money tied up in rebates. I've gotta cut down and wait to receive some of them before doing any more of it...

[riz]
I'm still convinced that rebates are the spawn of Satan. Ignore the fact that I'm too incompetent to remember to mail them in often enough... Even forget the random deadlines for mailing them in, some of which feel like they are 20 minutes after you buy the damn thing ... the real problem is that even when you do it all right, THEY DONT ACCEPT IT! Every little thing is an excuse to not accept the rebate, including a photocopied receipt (when the paper says a P/C receipt is OKAY!)

Sigh.. that being said, someone buy me an iPod.

Penned by at 01:15 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Referrers
', "\n"; echo '
', "\n"; $sql = 'SELECT search, time, title, referer, COUNT(*) AS count FROM mt_entryhits WHERE entry_id=133 GROUP BY referer ORDER BY count DESC, title'; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ((strpos($referer1,'ttp://') == 1) && ($search == 0) && (trim($title) !== '-') && (trim($title) !== '')) { $n++; echo ''; echo $title . " [" . $count . "]
\n"; } } if (!($n)) { echo "No referrals yet
"; } else { echo "
\n"; echo 'referrers [referrals]
'; } echo '
'; echo "
Search Terms
\n"; echo "
"; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $query = ''; $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ($search == 1) { $n++; $query = "" . $title . ""; echo $query . ' [' . $count . ']' . "
\n"; } } if (!($n)) { echo "No search terms yet
"; } else { echo "
search terms [hits]"; } echo "
"; ?>

Sticky!

Gecko tape will stick you to ceiling

A new material covered with nanoscopic hairs that mimic those found on geckos' feet could allow people to walk up to sheer surfaces and across ceilings, say researchers.

---
Oh mental note to remind me to add a new sidebar that posts all of the "bittorrents" im currently downloading, peering or just plain watching :) Auto update with php and all that.

Penned by at 01:11 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Referrers
', "\n"; echo '
', "\n"; $sql = 'SELECT search, time, title, referer, COUNT(*) AS count FROM mt_entryhits WHERE entry_id=132 GROUP BY referer ORDER BY count DESC, title'; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ((strpos($referer1,'ttp://') == 1) && ($search == 0) && (trim($title) !== '-') && (trim($title) !== '')) { $n++; echo ''; echo $title . " [" . $count . "]
\n"; } } if (!($n)) { echo "No referrals yet
"; } else { echo "
\n"; echo 'referrers [referrals]
'; } echo '
'; echo "
Search Terms
\n"; echo "
"; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $query = ''; $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ($search == 1) { $n++; $query = "" . $title . ""; echo $query . ' [' . $count . ']' . "
\n"; } } if (!($n)) { echo "No search terms yet
"; } else { echo "
search terms [hits]"; } echo "
"; ?>

June 01, 2003

Tivo fun and other stuff

I

'm emptying out my text files with all the links I've stored over the past few months and posting the best of them ... if you don't like the first few, read the rest, there is a lot of good stuff in here...


Amazon.com is currently taking preliminary orders for Krikorian's new book, TiVo Hacks, a guide to 100 popular ways to score more features. The book, which O'Reilly & Associates plans to release late this summer, provides step-by-step directions on everything from how to add storage space to your recorder to how to get a 30-second-skip feature on the remote control.
Hacker Takes a Crack at TiVo

In short, TyStudio is a Tivo Video Recording (aka tystream) Format framework; TyStudio offers a suite of tools for these types of video streams. These tools enable you to transform the Tivo Video Recording to such formats as an MPEG program stream, which is commonly used by DVD players.
TyStudio

XMLTV is a set of utilities to manage your TV viewing. They work with TV listings stored in the XMLTV format, which is based on XML. The idea is to separate out the backend (getting the listings) from the frontend (displaying them for the user), and to implement useful operations like picking out your favourite programmes as filters that read and write XML documents.

This project describes how to build your own digital satellite receiver and video disk recorder. It is based mainly on the DVB-S digital satellite receiver card, which used to be available from Fujitsu Siemens and the driver software developed by the LinuxTV project. Unfortunately Fujitsu Siemens no longer offers that card, so you may want to take a look at www.edigicam.de (search for "DVB").

DVArchive allows your computer to act like a "Virtual ReplayTV". You can download shows from your ReplayTV to burn to DVD/VCD, play shows from your ReplayTV right on your desktop and play shows that are stored on your computer right from your ReplayTV/TV screen.

The 12 Steps of On-Line Gamers Anonymous

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Absinthe (* but were afraid to ask)

Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About

If you haven't seen Yatta yet...

How to ZAP a Camera: Using Lasers to Temporarily Neutralize Camera Sensors
Camera zapping is possible because cameras are not perfect machines. Two such imperfections are blooming and lens flare. Blooming is the technical term for when a portion of the camera's sensor is overloaded, resulting in "leakage" to neighboring regions. For example, a candle in an otherwise dark setting may cause blobs or "comet tails" around the flame. Many video cameras today advertise "anti-blooming" capabilities, but it's ultimately a matter of degree. Most can indeed handle a candle light without blooming but almost certainly not direct sunlight.

Food Chain is an open-ended simulation game of evolving species. Players design species of animals, which compete against each other in the jungle. Players submit orders by sending email to an email server at the site pbm.com.

Yet another revolutionary program created by Justin Frankel and Nullsoft was snuffed in it's crib by mega-corp AOL.
"Waste" a P2P file sharing program for private groups was originally released on Wednesday, but when AOL found out about it, took immediate action to snuff it out of existence.
Justin Frankel and Nullsoft are the original developers of WinAmp and Gnutella.
Original Article
[Riz] Of course the executable and source are already out there ... stopping that will be like stopping Gnutella or DeCss.

See How They Run is an insider's look at the San Francisco political machine. Amidst intense political back-stabbing and media fighting, the film showcases the mayoral runoff between Tom Ammiano, Clint Reilly and Willie Brown. See How They Run is a sharp-witted scandalous expose of a historic only-in-San Francisco grassroots campaign

Artnudes.com - Nudes that don't insult your intelligence

Barnes & Noble Sued Over Gay Porn DVD Mix-Up
Barnes & Noble Booksellers Inc. is being sued by the family of a 12-year-old boy for a "mix-up" that put a DVD of gay pornography in some issues of "Reject" skating magazine instead of demonstrations of inline skating.

The lawsuit filed Friday, says that the boy was horrified when he played the DVD and found that instead of skating, it played "Hard Hat Pigs."


Netflix for Video Games: GoVojo

An Open Source Dance Dance Revolution

THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO UNLAWFUL CARNAL KNOWLEDGE
FOR FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING GAMES

"I think that saying 'my campaign has no place for sex because my
players satisfy their sexual needs elsewhere' is roughly the same as
boasting that your campaign has no place for the green color, because
when your players want to see green, they go and look at your petunias.
Our lives and our characters' lives are different things altogether."
[Riz] Whats sad is that I just realized that this isn't a bit of comedy but actual spells to cast. Good lord.

How to teach other people how to play magic.



coolest thing in a while
Meeka: Thank you, you really are wonderful.
Meeka: I do appreciate you, dude.
Meeka: However scarce I may be with my compliments or praise.
Meeka: First, most people, most humans are really, really interesting. I adore them, I think they're fascinating, I want to learn their story and take them into my heart.

Penned by at 06:49 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Referrers
', "\n"; echo '
', "\n"; $sql = 'SELECT search, time, title, referer, COUNT(*) AS count FROM mt_entryhits WHERE entry_id=131 GROUP BY referer ORDER BY count DESC, title'; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ((strpos($referer1,'ttp://') == 1) && ($search == 0) && (trim($title) !== '-') && (trim($title) !== '')) { $n++; echo ''; echo $title . " [" . $count . "]
\n"; } } if (!($n)) { echo "No referrals yet
"; } else { echo "
\n"; echo 'referrers [referrals]
'; } echo '
'; echo "
Search Terms
\n"; echo "
"; $rs = mysql_query( $sql ); $n = 0; while( $row = mysql_fetch_assoc( $rs ) ) { $query = ''; $referer1 = $row['referer']; $title = $row['title']; $count = $row['count']; $search = $row['search']; if ($search == 1) { $n++; $query = "" . $title . ""; echo $query . ' [' . $count . ']' . "
\n"; } } if (!($n)) { echo "No search terms yet
"; } else { echo "
search terms [hits]"; } echo "
"; ?>

45)) {$title = substr($title,0,42) . "..."; } else if (trim(strlen($title)) > 52) { $title = substr($title,0,49) . "..."; } } mysql_query( "UPDATE mt_entryhits SET title='$title', search=$search WHERE referer='$referer'" ); function getquery($ref){ $queries = array("search=", "epq=", "p=", "qkw=", "q=", "query=", "va=", "qry=", "userQuery=", "searchfor=", "question=", "sb="); while(list($key,$val)=each($queries)){ $pos = 0;//initialize $pos = strpos($ref, $val); if (strpos($ref,'encquery')) { $pos = 0; } #$ret .= "($pos $val)"; if($pos > 0){ $endpos = strpos ($ref, "&", $pos); if(trim($endpos) == ""){ $search = substr($ref, ($pos+strlen($val)), strlen($ref)-$pos); }else{ $search = substr ($ref, ($pos+strlen($val)), ($endpos-$pos)-2); } $endpos = strpos ($search, "&"); if(trim($endpos)) { $search = substr ($search, 0, $endpos); } $searched = trim($search); $searched = str_replace("+", " ", $search); $searched = str_replace("%2E", ".", $searched); $searched = str_replace("%2B", "+", $searched); $searched = str_replace("%2b", "+", $searched); $searched = str_replace("%22", '"', $searched); $searched = str_replace("%22", '"', $searched); $searched = str_replace("%20", " ", $searched); $searched = str_replace("%3F", "?", $searched); $searched = str_replace("%28", "(", $searched); $searched = str_replace("%27", "'", $searched); $searched = str_replace("%3A", ":", $searched); $searched = str_replace("%2C", ",", $searched); $searched = str_replace("%24", "$", $searched); $searched = str_replace("%21", "!", $searched); $searched = str_replace("%5C", "\\", $searched); $searched = str_replace("%2F", "/", $searched); if(trim($searched) == ""){ $searched = substr($ref, $pos, strlen($ref)-$pos)."($endpos)"; } } } if(trim($searched) !== "") { return "$searched"; }else{ return false; } }// end function ?>
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