Rizwan Kassim's Public Log

Yahoo Messenger Blocks Outside IM Clients

"CNET News is reporting that Yahoo has started blocking 3rd party Messenger clients from their service. The article is about Trillian, but I have noticed that my gaim client hasn't been working for the past few days." As reported earlier.

Stupid things

I'm sure most of you are thinking "Well Duh!".

The Magic/Chess comparison was long ago prefaced with a comment that I must have been insane to write as much dribble as that.

Comments about my culture shock in Turkey were read into more than I intended for a casual entry, within the limits of writing rapidly whilst tired in a internet cafe, but there were definite lamebrain comments of my own to justify any criticism. I take a great deal of heart from "I think it's just American arrogance of the most frustrating type: that which comes from someone who should know better. " and "If I thought he was bona-fide certified unintelligent, I could cope, its just.... like watching a Mustang up on blocks being used as a birdfeeder. Its just such an abuse of potential." I may yet be saved.

Theres more, but they portray my emotional state at the time, and I'm not touching a thing out ... whatever.

Its been a big 24 hrs. I've spent a lot of time thinking and so has Serena. Reading other peoples comments on us has its own effect, and I'm more convinced that whats being said by others isn't what I thought it was (poking fun at someone they despise), but the opposite (extreme annoyance at stupidity and waste in someone that could do better).

Iron Lemur, my apology, albiet a month late, is now pending, but to Serena, not to you. I didn't "chase tail," but I wasn't sensitive to how Serena would respond to my blogs.

Theres some comments reposted on Serena's blog that weren't found by my hitting Ctrl-F and typing in Riz... I've been wrong in the way I've treated Heather as far as showing up is concerned. It never seemed to bother her so I didn't ascribe it much importance, but _even_ HeatherW, that pinnacle of patience, gets frustrated at things. Just when I thought I had her figured out... (laughs wryly. She'll never let me)

Serena noted something:
Even if Heather is at times rather critical.....I can tell by the frequency of mentioning Riz that she does have some amount of concern, care and friendship for him. I vaguely recall a person telling me how its not worse to hate a person (as opposed to loving them), cause it is still a form of passion or concern.....the worse thing is to not care at all, to be indifferent. So, while a bit hurtful, the fact that Heather was concerned enough to write about him in her blog (frequently even), is a very clear sign that she cares about Riz and what he does.

I take hope in that.
In a lot of things. (My) Heather said some positive things today too, so I'm feeling quite better, but perhaps a bit wiser for the ware...(sp?)

folks out there; I'm going to be honest on my blog and avoid being stupid... Instead of mocking tones, if you could write your opinons honestly and directly, I'd genuinely apprecaite it. Things *have* been called to light, whether I like them or not. Comment boxes remain open. Post links and I'll read them.

I've been less careful with Serena than I should. She just asked why I didn't invite her to the S&G concert that HeatherW and I have tickets for ... I didn't want to have a tense situation when we weren't going with a big group and I'm not sure how they'd get along, or how Heather would like another person coming with us. That I didn't invite Serena isn't what I did wrong. That I didn't explain my reasons for not doing so where. She confronted me about that in a quick IM, and I realized that I should have explained that to her.

I'm usually careful with girlfriends and what they think, and either getting used to the situation, pure-tiredness, cynicism, knowing that Serena loves me (no matter what I do), I'm being less careful. The girls in the past have liked me because I treated them well, and Serena deserves no less. If I stay with her, I should give her what she deserves, and needs. If I'm not willing to, I'm just hurting her by staying together. Thanks to all of you out there in blogland for pointing out the stupidity of my past actions. I might not have liked the message but the surprise of yesterday cleared the way for some re-thinking. So yes, Curious, its a gift.

In other news,
What does it say about me that Tom is my favorite Corleone?

Oh, Serena posted a ton of surveys on her site...

I never watched Dr. Who so I didn't fill out this one.

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

Where do you fall on the liberal - conservative political spectrum? (United States)
brought to you by Quizilla

Seer


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

Athena


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Soundwhore

Act Two. When the telephone is your medium. Sure you can try to get your pop songs onto records, or on the radio, or onto MTV. But what happens if your medium of choice is... the telephone? Before they had record contracts, the band They Might Be Giants distributed their songs through the medium of Answering Machine. They created their own Dial-a-Song line. They say it taught them a lot about songwriting, because they could hear which songs people hated, because people hung up on the bad songs. It taught them how to do better musical arrangements for their songs. Contributing editor Sarah Vowell visited John Linnell and John Flansberg in Brooklyn and talked to them about Dial-a-Song. The Dial-a-Song phone number: 718/387-6962. (15 minutes)
Song: They Might Be Giants "I'm Sick" (A song they wrote about This American Life, for us)

Real audio stream... if you want it in MP3, ive got it converted.

Speaking of Telephone, I've been a bit stuck on "Long Distance Lover" by Sheena Easton; I've been thinking of it in context with Serena, odd enough because I'm not the first person, but the seemingly cruel Long Distance Lover. Serena liked the song. "Very 80s" Listen to it here.

Any "They might be Giants" fans out there? All I know is "Istanbul," (which I hummed constantly in Istanbul, much to the chagrin of ... well myself. Any recommended albums to start with?

Ira Glass is touring a bit, I can't wait to see him speak. I'm still annoyed at my not attending the Prarie Home Companion performance in Anahiem.

Saturday, April 10, 2004 - UCLA Performing Arts, Royce Hall, Los Angeles, CA. Evening presentation with Chris Ware.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004 - Claremont McKenna College, Claremont, CA.

Thers a big part of me wanting to become a Radio Producer, even given that my talent lies in engineering. Probably only for public radio though. Maybe.

Barry once described working in Radio as a "bug that bites you and never lets go. You can't help wanting to work in the field ..." ... Its kinda true, and might even be moreso for radio than even television. So much to do...

Pre-release

Serena and I had a middling time together the night before, but it ended with her having a few drinks, having a heart to heart with Shadiya, Serena getting annoyed with me and me asking "Should I go home?"...

Woke up the next day, snoozing as constantly as possible, until about 8:30. Dan asked me to be at the Hitlon by 9. Went to take a shower, (Shad - "You mean you'll grace our shower without shower slippers?!"), watched the cats dart away the second I turned on the water (they are so cute), showered shaved and got out as quickly as possible. Serena wanted me to come to bed for a while, but I had told myself I wasn't going to be late (I felt bad after having made HeatherW late for the Scourge pre-rel, and I *was* working this one)... We had a chat about how much she needed me and whether I needed her or not... It maybe a male thing, but I don't like *needing* someone... I try to be independent, am quite poor at it at times, and I need my friends... but needing someone I am dating? That just seemed like beyond my capabilities. I don't know at the moment, I'm pondering.. Check her blog for more details...

Anyhow, back to days events. Split and headed over to LAX Hilton, noticing that my car was starting to perform quite poorly... Acceleration was quite difficult and Sapna would rev up to five-k rpms with no noticable change in acceleration. More on that ...

Mum just finished writing about a half hour's worth of email to Farhana at which point IE crashed with an error in mshtml.dll ... I'm getting less and less impressed with XP's stability (probably because more and more crap has been installed over time) ... I'm getting random BAD_POOL_CALLER and IRQ_EQUAL_OR_LESS errors for little apparent reasons, hard system crashes while visiting tvguide.com for some reason (doesn't like Flash?), random reboots... That mshtml.dll errors been around for a while now, IE doesn't seem to like yahoo's data entry javascript... *sigh*

Arrived just before, changed to black pants and my referee shirt in the parking lot, and ran up ... Dan didn't comment on my tardiness, assigned me to someone and the work began... about an hour of handing out DCI forms to new players, and chiding old players for forgetting their numbers. After the first waves were seated, we setup some of the teams (which were a debacle and filled up *very* quickly). I wish HeatherW had come, I would have gladly given up judging to play a team event with her and someone, but she was adamant, and I felt little need to tempt her.

There was a lot of handing out result slips, seating new rounds, listening closely for "Judge" and looking over watching peoples games.

Some of the questions I was getting...
If a creature with double-strike is blocked and the blocking creature is destroyed by first combat damage, does the main round of damage get through? No.
If a creature with double-strike is unblocked, does it deal double damage to the opponent? Yes, but some judge was going around telling people that the answer was No... that caused a bit of a problem.
Can you equip a creature with pro-artifacts with equipment? No.
Does an enchantment target its, well, target? Only when its being played, not after.
What are the rules for trample damage when blockers are pro-quality or if they are gang blocked The usual answer, lethal damage to all blockers.
Does Vulshok Battlemaster steal control of your opponents equipment? Does it at least equip with their equipment? No, Yes.
Why does my opponent have a Wild Mongrel out? Hes cheating.

That kinda stuff. Nothing too terribly difficult.

There weren't insane questions about Liar's Pendulum, Platinum Angel, Glissa Sunseeker(except my catching a player for not emptying out his manapool after using Glissa, it doesn't spend the mana, just counts it)...

Colorless lifegain was prevalent with Loxodon Warhammer out there.

I loved that Platinum Angel is specifically cited, pointing out that if a player leaves the play area, he/she is considered to have given up control of Platinum Angel and therefore loses the game. Attacking a judge, cheating etc. will still result in a game loss (or more ;p)

Heather just called, I'll finish this post later. (Finishing now)

Wave 14 had waited about four hours to start, enough people had dropped to accomdate them, but only in between seats of other Waves, meaning that they couldn't be relied upon to find places to go, they had to be seat assigned (Group 1, table 18, group 2 table 19, group 3 table 25) etc... I'm amazed at the total stupidity of people at times. First, I've never left a tournament without actually dropping, but plenty of people just walked away, leaving us clueless at the end of the round when their slip hadn't come in. Other people didn't turn in their slips, how do you expect us to start the next round that you've been clamoring for if you've got the result sheet in your pocket...

A girl and guy group arrived late to Wave 14 after I had sorted everyone out and was about to award Match wins to the unpaired folks... I started to bitch at them, having absorbed the attitude of those working around me... About a minute later I caught myself, smiled and said "No problem, lets set you up," ... No reason to be surly, me thinks; just because the more jaded coords and judges are. I ended up hanging out with that couple later in the day.

Adrian kicked some butt with his numerous bounce, and removal spells; I do wish i had played, as Mirrodin looks like a ton of fun. At six I went outside into the working cell area to notify mum that the people were still there and that I might not be able to make it to the wedding as we had planned. It wasn't a wedding of someone close or dear, it was more of a social obligation. I actually was trying to commit properly to this task at hand, even though I wouldn't have minded splitting just then. Also didn't want to risk whatever rewards we were getting.

By 10 things calmed down and I talked more with this couple; girls name is Jennifer, and of course I can't remember the guys name. He had 12 packs of Mirr that he won, and after being shown variations on games by Dan and the other judges (Pack Wars, and some variation where you play out of a random stack of cards with infinite mana) we came upon the idea for playing Draft. We got a fourth, I paid him $10 for his 3 boosters (the winner of the draft took all, I knew I wouldn't win but it was fun, therefore worth it), and we drafted. As usual, my picks were quick and generally sub par. I had thought so much about bounce that I almost immediately went to blue; and ended up with an average (At best) deck, with some decent equipment, including the lifegainer.

I lost to him 0-2, but put up a big fight in the last game, but was a bit hard to deal with; especially as he had a number of fatties while I had chump blockers and cheap-ass lifegain keeping me floating. I was also drawing like mad thanks Farsight Mask. It was 11 by then. Slightly miffed that I couldn't even keep what I drafted, I took what cash I had left, $1.50 and bet a rare against it, March of the Machines.

I played the girlfriend. Her deck was sub-par as well, but was quite workable. I always have trouble choosing colors and knowing when to change and when to stay... I really really need to work on my draft. Ger can attest to the troubles I have. I played a good game, nearly dealing her a fatal blow save for a surprise combat trick from her hand; and got pummeled soon after.

Got a few cards in my pocket from the packs Dan threw us to teach me pack wars, including some rares that are fun... theres one that I almost got but lost to Jennifer who was also being taught in Pack Wars, a enchantment that reads : 1 : Give all your creatures +1/+1 until end of turn. Thats a chase rare, methinks. (I just learned that term from Heather, cool eh?)

Leaving the hotel, I find that my mother has been worried about me for the past X hours, even calling Serena in her worry and the LAX Hilton. I point out that I told them that I wouldn't be coming and that the LAX Hilton isn't South Central LA... I make the short drive to Torrance, visiting our family friends, the Hajis, spend a few moments with their son, Ali-Khan, a friend of mine; and wander off to bed.

I'm debating if i should buy a common/uncommon set of this set. A lot of the commons are shit, and it seems more economical designing a deck via proxy and buying just what I need... Not having massive binders will hurt the part of me that is very pleased with my organizing, but thats alright. I don't need to have every slot filled, most of the cards sit doing nothing. Yeah, that sounds good. *thinks* I've got a box of mirr that I'm temtped to open, but its for my offical Simon and Garfunkel fund.... :) turns out my heather is going as well as HeatherW on the same day ... and thanks to Heather(W) we've got great seats... a bit spendy but c'est la vie. Judging one more event (Oct 11) should do it.

*sigh* Every deck that seems fun to play has 4 Exalted Angels and 4 Eternal Dragons, not cheap cards by any means. Wrath of God's are hard to come by. Even Hammer of Borgadin... (however you spell it)

Notice..

Thanks to Fancy Blogrolling for the script, and for reminding me that I could have fixed this problem months ago if i had either actually searched for a solution, or opened up any PHP manual. It was quite easily done.

I'm getting enough traffic that once every half day should be fine, I think. Compare old and new load times. I think you'll be impressed.

Aftermath

I still don't like it. Not because of what Heather said but because of the comments. Heather at least knows me, the rest have only second and third-generation comments to go by, and their comments are mocking and scathing.

That being said, I'm used to taking them with a half pound of salt, so...

Curious; a well stated and polite argument. Response follows:

The Ego Bubble (tm) was formed in Elemntary school onwards... Being teased, harassed and beat up often enough, authority figures said "Its becaues you are smart and they are jealous." It wasn't always, in retrospect, I had some personal habits that weren't going to vault me to a popularity list anyhow, but there was some truth in it. I offer this not as an excuse but as a clarification.

Nature of blogging needs to be covered at some point, but yes, not today.

As for the sugar coating and all; I would have preferred more honesty from Heather, but she is right, most of what she said (except the random bits of contempt, and that I'm full of it) have been expressed one way or ther other; and I listen to her. She knows how highly I regard her opinion, and I can't even blame her for not being totally upfront. In the end, whats done is done and I'm moving on.

Criticism comes from enough places around me already, plenty from the parents (despite Heather's assurance that my mother has a massive blindspot regarding me; she reserves negative comments directly for me, she knows not to share them with Heather), but I've come to rely on honesty from friends like Heather (now I mean "my heather") for telling me when something is wrong. I get it from HeatherW as well, just more subtly, and sometimes via blog.

I refuse to simplify it to the Gift/Curse setup... Its brought up issues that I had put aside to bring more focus on school, but thats part of life. I'll consider some opinons, but they've already been tainted by my not so positive opinion of the commenters. I'm not going to just let it blow over though; theres stuff to think about.

"Two of our LA friends spent the evening picking over the entire contents of my blog. It's not that I regret anything I said...it's just going to be dull to have to justify several months of random bile all at once. :) "

Anyone who reads blogs in mass amounts deserves trouble, I'm now deciding. If I start reading Serena's blogs, I'm going to do it section by section to avoid getting overwhelmed. I'm going to do more blog reading, but remember the warning that I had constantly planned to put onto my site, but never actually got around to. I write these when I'm moved to, meaning that I'm generally not thinking rationally or equitably. These are stories laced with hyperbole, and should be taken as such.

Also, Heathers got interesting stories now that I read through, instead of doing a IE find for "Riz." Context, butterfly, context. Of course, Serena looked for comments about her and found some things to think about herself. And shes worried about me, the sweet thing. (Shes convinced that Heather does care for me, else she wouldn't spend time writing about being frustrated when I don't show)

As for posting quotes from conversations with Heather, notice that its rarely about her, partially because she doesn't talk much about herself, granted, but mostly because its like this... if it affects my relationship with her, its fairgame. If it doesn't, it isn't. Its not up to me to post about *other* peoples personal problems...

I'm tempted to read the other sites that searching maven Serena has found, but I'll leave those for another day, and will read slowly. I'm not sure I'll accept any arguments on privacy, they arent really valid for a blog (even when I've tried to use that argument myself). I also haven't been reading as many blogs as I should; time to setup a daily RSS feed for myself or something.

I still owe you guys that rant on infidelity. (By the way, it was my bitterness at everyone around me being unfaithful; Otabek commenting on his many girlfriends "Once you are seven steps outside the home, you are no longer married.")

Added

I'm starting to decide blogging about other people is a bad idea. Serena gets hurt when reading my ranting blogs (that usually have nothing do to with her), I avoid reading hers to be worried by her manic blog (which give other people the impressing that I intend to cause her hurt), and now HeatherW's blog, while quite possibly accurate, (albiet cynical), was too much hurt, too quickly, from someone I trusted, even expected to tell me the truth directly.

Its not the opinions that she holds; they've been held by other people, but those that I hate anyway. I've always been unbalanced as a person, with some traits more developed than others, and those that I've set aside while I work on responsibility and such are now back in the forefront. Social life had been worked out, it was okay; it would get better when I moved to LA and when I planned to make it up to the people that I had inconvienenced while so far away. I want to say its some feeling of betrayal, but I'm not nearly dramatic enough to think along those lines. Its as innocous as my posting about pretty Russian girls, stating a fact, but ignoring the hurt and the insecurities it would bring up in someone else, rational or not. (Yes, point made.) [Although, I still contest that talking about me directly rather than making observations about a set of people are two different situations]

Its just the pattern of my life that I've been trying to organize for the past five years has suddenly been ripped again, and there are frays everywhere... knots long ago tied are now undone, confidences shattered, comforts destroyed.

I've written five emails to HeatherW and deleted them all before sending them. I can't begrudge someone their own opinion, especially when some of them are right. Its just that I prefer honesty from people, not two different faces. I like to know when im held in that much contempt or disapproval though, and the next time (yes, there will be a next time*) I see HeatherW is going to be annoyingly tense, and then it will be okay. Maybe she'll be more honest with me and stop despising me in secret. Maybe the relationship will become more balanced as I've always wanted it to be after work, but at the moment, all I can feel is pain. (Anger doesn't come easily to me.)

* - I don't break ties with people that I care about unless I have a reason to; I don't build grudges easily. Someone can think that I'm totally average and full of it and still be a friend. There are those who are. Are they right? Coping mechanisms, character flaws, whatever you call them; I survive by knowing that there is something special that shows itself... Just not all the time. Its my worldview.

Oh, how did this post (that was simply supposed to mention the existance of HeatherW's blog) get to this length?
Serena's quite worried about me (an interesting flip in the scenario) and I'm going to bed. Only an iPod playing Brahms will work tonight.

EDIT : We talked, I feel better, and mature for not having dragged it out. Anyhow, its over. Back to normality with a slightly damaged personality quilt, but nothing that some stitching can't fix.

FARK.com: Comments Thingee (653373)

Photoshop your own "Anti-Drug" ad

Apple moves up iTunes for PC to mid-October

Apple moves up iTunes for PC to mid-October :

"In another hopeful sign for the industry last week, downloading sites Rhapsody and Apple’s iTunes bragged that paying customers were flocking their way. And Apple, NEWSWEEK learned, quietly informed some music insiders that it’s moved up the date for expanding its current Mac-only iTunes for the vast universe of Windows-based PCs to mid-October. Apple couldn’t be reached for comment. As weeks go, it was a good one for the record industry."

More info

Yay! Maybe I'll start legally getting music.... maybe.

Theft

I checked for them right before and right after and it never occured to me that it might have been taken during the security check. I contacted my hostel to no avail as far as getting my lighter and they *were* in the unlocked side carriers. Not that big of a deal but it explains something for me.

Pretty Girls

I got a hair cut today and was reminded how the prettiest girls in Victorville either work at the hair salon or are there. Is there something about the job that makes the girls pretty or do pretty girls get attracted to such fields.

I think its the first. I've always thought of myself as not caring much whether a girl is wearing makeup, or a cute skirt, adornments, or even nice bodies for that matter... I do have a weakness for accessories, as hats/head dressings, nicely done hair, earrings... but I guess I was wrong. It might follow that those in the beauty industry would take more time on their own appearance than your average josephine, but does that mean that I'm actually as shallow as the next guy out there? Or is it not being shallow so much as the point of such dressing up is to improve ones look subtly without calling attention to the dressing up to begin with?

I'm reminded of Russia and pretty Russian girls. Is it because, as a culture, they emphasize dress and looks more than others? I didn't think it was possible for a culture to be more ego-centric than our American culture, but we don't always dress nice..

I acknowledge that looking nice has as much to do with ones own self-perception as it does for showing off/attracting others; I know when I'm properly shaven, with a nice hair cut and my favorite set of clothes (HeatherW: Just remembered our conversation about favorite clothing, and the different perceptions between men and women of certain pieces *laughs*), I feel more confident, and I don't doubt that it is similar for girls..

What do you all think? Are pretty girls more attracted to the beauty industry, or does the beauty industry re-inforce the girls want to be pretty?

Added Golden Arches East: McDonald's in East Asia to my Wishlist

After doing a bit of research about Globalization for Sis I'm tempted to see the rate of growth of McDonalds and CocaCola, the ultimate american brands. Again, the weirdest brand I saw overseas was the Arbys in Taksim Square in Istanbul.

Auto-Update Blocks Linux Usage

An anonymous reader writes "According to The Inquirer, Microsoft has used their Xbox Live Vole System to patch any Xboxes that access it....without asking their permission before installing the software. However, in this occurrence, the bug appears to be the 'dashboard bug' that allows Linux to be easily installed on an Xbox. Further, according to The Xbox Linux Project, users who do not have an Xbox Live account may find themselves being patched without permission as well. If a gamer tries to access any part of a game that uses Xbox Live, the console can 'phone home' and install the patches anyway. While patching bugs can be a nice touch to poor software, I don't know if I feel comfortable with ANYONE installing software on my hardware without asking permission first."

Mindslayer

Although the card does spell it out, let me clarify what happens when you activate this card. On your opponent's next turn, you will essentially be playing the game for your opponent. You'll have the opportunity to see everything he can see such as his hand. You can tap his cards, play his spells, choose if and how his creatures will attack. You have taken complete control of your opponent for the turn. The only thing you're not allowed to do is mana burn him. (Or force him to concede, but see the formal rules for this card at the end of the article.)

I just had to post this one. By the way, the complete Mirrodin spoilers are available everywhere; namely here.

Shuffle and Cut has Mirr packs already for sale, it seems that some boxes of Mirrodin got out the back of WoTC and are for sale on the net etc... has that happened before?

Your biggest fan!

Sept. 13, 2003 | It was June 2001, and I had just gotten off the "Crossfire" set when one of our producers handed me a stack of mail. On the way to the elevator, I glanced at it. On top of the pile was a registered letter from a law firm. It got my attention immediately. I've never had a pleasant letter from a lawyer.

This one was worse than most. It was written by an attorney in Indiana named Paul M. Blanton who wanted to let me know that his client, a woman named *Elizabeth Jansen, was planning to file criminal sex charges against me in the Commonwealth of Kentucky. "Ms. [Jansen] has informed me that she was raped by you," Blanton wrote. "If you should have any questions or concerns about any of the aforementioned, please do not hesitate to contact me."

Should I have any questions or concerns? I didn't know where to begin. Rape? Kentucky? Criminal charges? I knew I hadn't raped anyone. I didn't think I'd ever even been to Kentucky. The name Elizabeth Jansen sounded mildly familiar, though I couldn't recall why. I had the feeling that my life was about to change for the worse. I felt weak.

Adam wants his Eve

Sept. 12, 2003 | The Rev. Joe Aufdermauer always wanted to be a Catholic priest. Even when he was a boy growing up on a small dairy farm in Wisconsin, he knew. He tried his best to follow all the church's rules, even if it meant setting his parents straight on a few things.

"I always remember we prayed before every meal, but not after meals," he said. "Once as a kid that got me upset, because the nun said you're supposed to pray before and after."

He even wanted to enter the seminary before he began high school, but his father and mother couldn't afford it.

Given his traditional tendencies, it may come as something of a surprise that Aufdermauer is one of three Milwaukee priests who recently sparked a fiery debate in American Catholic thought and theology: Should the church force celibacy on all priests? Aufdermauer and 168 other local pastors who signed his petition say no, and they cite statistics to support their claim: According to the Catholic University of America, for every 100 priests who die or leave the church, only 30 or 40 replace them. Unless the church changes its policy, the Milwaukee priests argue, in a matter of years the Catholic priesthood in America might become an endangered species.

Regrets?

I felt miserable there. HeatherW did me a massive favor and reminded me of that... Its mostly cause I feel lousy over here and 'rents are constantly *worried* (granted, I clean the house, do as much as I can around here, but if they can't worry, they aren't happy (I think sometimes))...

I've been helping out at Display ... reminds me of working at comedy world... just in that I'm doing things with my hands and it makes me happy... I was about to weld some parts together and I mentioned to my dad that welding is actually a good gig, making decent money; when he commented "you're too clever to do that..." ... I know that, and I wouldn't consider welding as a main career unless I ran into more trouble, but it was really nice to hear him say it.

I come off a bit daft in my blogs, and thats another concern... when I'm seen in my element, I'm the kid genius that half the company calls when they need a problem fixed... its a great ego boost and reinforces hard work... then when I'm not in that kind of enviroment, I'm just this guy who says stupid things at times and whos mind gets too easily distracted... Perhaps that part of the difficulty with school.

Looked it over and I've got about 5 quarters of classes left... Somewhat disheartening, to think that I'm entering the sixth year of school with about 2.5 years done. Granted, I wasn't enrolled for at least a year during that time, but its easy to rationalize that away.. too easy.

We were drilling, sanding, welding, punching, etc at Display and my dad was surprised that, while I took to the designing of the device we were creating easily, I was new to the tools (it isn't that hard, its just I don't just *know* how to use an arc-welder) ... turns out Cal Poly had a lot more *hands on* courses when he was doing his EE there... I can't imagine welding in a UCLA class. I know we have machine shops and all, but I'll be darned if I see it anywhere here : B.S. in Electrical Engineering Curriculum. Has more hands on stuff, more labor intensive stuff been moved down to Junior Colleges?

I just want to finish school now, to hell with all the other distractions. That being said, who knows how ill feel in a few weeks, months, after a year? This past quarter went well, first good quarter in quite a while; but it wasn't exactly a heavy load either.

I could just transfer to CalPoly as well... EE from Cal Poly is still respectable, but I'd have to give up UCLA, and I'm not really sure my ego/intellect/confidence is ready for that. I know I *could* handle it, its whether I will..

Back to regrets... It isn't that strong; my mind wanders when I think of Russian girls, and the way that drop-dead gorgeous girls would wave and smile at me... Thats always nice. I learned a bit, visiting historic monuments isn't really my things... I started salivating at reading about the nature preserves and lakes in Kahzakstan and Kyrgistan; its too bad I wasn't able to visit them. I only lost about a week and a half in Central Asia and a few days in Turkey; I did complete 70% of the trip, but its just sad to have left. I did learn that I need to be backpacking though... It got way too lonely there without a constant influx of new people to meet and social challenges to meet. Cameron is in Prague right now, and having a doozy of a time.

All that being said, I SMSed HeatherW as I arrived in Chicago saying hi, and professing to have no regrets. I don't really have regrets, I don't sit and think about being back there; its a wonderful place to visit, but it was quite a culture shock and I'll need a while to adapt.

As usual, wandering mind, I'm not even sure if my thoughts are cohesive.
Oh, #1 thing I missed after the iPod died... The Beatles... (hums "We can work it out")...

Site Updates

Added version 6 of the Resumes.

Added a new links section for "Stolen Media - Warez, Audio and Video".

Added a link to Alas, A blog to the sidebar of "better blogs"
Added a link to Serena's Diaryland Diary in sidebar of "Better blogs"
From there, you can find a link to her Xanga blog.

Added to Amazon Wishlist
• Empires of Light: Edison, Tesla, Westinghouse, and the Race to Electrify the World
Based on Wired's Recommendation
• Principles of Digital Audio
• Mac OS X Hacks
• India: A Wounded Civilization
• Trespassers on the Roof of the World: The Secret Exploration of Tibet
• Foreign Devils on the Silk Road: The Search for the Lost Cities and Treasures of Chinese Central Asia

I do have to get around to ranting more about the trip; various little differences and all. Also some stuff about missing working with comedians, watching Mike and Ben episodes with Serena made me think.

Also, one of the reasons the site is so slow in loading is that it has to fetch seven URLs for the Blogrolls on the side... Anyone know a reasonable way to simple keep them cached locally and have them update off the site every hour or so? I don't really have much server level control... maybe a PHP that a loading the page calls that updates them if they are more than six hours old... Best way to see the slowness in action is to see that particular section of the page load, its alone here. (As you can probably see, I'm a fan of #includes, even in PHP)

Kevin Smith

Spike TV (formerly "The New TNN") has a show called "The Joe Schmo Show" ... they took a guy and setup a reality show around him... turns out the damn thing was fake... it was instead a "Truman Show-esque" program designed around him... rather mercenary but looks quite interesting. I'll probably avoid watching it as part of my general protest against reality shows, or derivates thereof.

Oh, Late Night with Conan O'Brien : 10th Anniversary Special
This Sunday!

*giggles*

Many Run Alternate 'Doonesbury'

NEW YORK -- It was expected that many newspapers wouldn't run this past Sunday's "Doonesbury" mentioning masturbation. But the number turned out to be unusually high.

When contacted by E&P Online, an American Color spokesperson said 84% of its newspaper clients opted to publish a substitute Sept. 7 strip by Garry Trudeau. These 200-plus clients include papers that use American Color prepress services or get their Sunday comics printed by American Color Graphics.

"Doonesbury" runs in about 1,400 daily and Sunday papers, meaning the American Color figures don't represent every Sunday client of the Universal Press Syndicate comic.

The Sept. 7 strip mentioned a real-life study saying regular masturbation might help prevent prostate cancer (Syndicate World, Sept. 4). Ironically, many newspapers discuss sex and other potentially controversial topics outside their comics sections, but many of these same papers feel the funnies should be "family-friendly" because they have a lot of younger readers.

From Cagle's Blog:

I asked Garry Trudeau, my Slate neighbor, for comments on his controversial strip that is scheduled to run this Sunday. Garry replied, "I think this one's going to blow over pretty quickly, but I have had heard from a few reporters ..." and he gave me this statement:

Old Friends

It's official!! Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel will embark on their first concert tour in 20 years on October 18th. Old Friends: The 2003 Concert Tour will visit arenas across North America, concluding in mid-December. Here is the first list of cities and dates.


November 14, 2003 Anaheim, California ARROWHEAD POND
November 17, 2003 Los Angeles, California STAPLES CENTER
More info!

Lawrence Lessig: The BBC's lessons for America

Greg Dyke, director general of the BBC, announced last month that the broadcaster would make the contents of its vast archive available to the public so long as any re-use of that content was for non-commercial purposes. (Commercial re-users will have to strike their own deal.) The BBC Creative Archive would enable the British to cultivate this national resource - for which they have already paid - for educational, critical or comedic purposes. The very structure will also make it much more likely that commercial creators will be able to identify content valuable to them, and then license that content from the BBC. The idea is a brilliant response to the extraordinary explosion of creative capacity enabled by digital technologies, in light of the BBC's founding mission - as Lord Reith put it - to inform, educate and entertain.

It also required a bit of creative thinking. For the natural intuition of content owners is control. The very idea of giving up perfect control over how and whether content is re-used is treason among insiders. But as the BBC understands, it does not live in Disney World. And in the course of its internal review an obvious question has become increasingly pressing: if the BBC could make its archive available cheaply, what reason is there for keeping it from the people who have already paid for it? Moreover, such access would increase the BBC’s chances of selling content commercially and make it more likely that the technology to cultivate this content (computers) will be more eagerly bought.

On the other side of the Atlantic there is little evidence of similarly creative thought. Instead, the US government remains captured by the extremists. The very same week that the Creative Archive was born in Britain, it was exercising its power to kill a planned meeting of the World Intellectual Property Organisation (Wipo), the United Nations’ intellectual property agency, to consider “open and collaborative projects to create public goods”. The examples that had led Wipo to call for that meeting included the internet and World Wide Web (whose protocols are in the public domain); a consortium of biomedical researchers and companies exploring single nucleotide polymorphisms (SNPs); and the Global Positioning System, which Ronald Reagan had set free for any use, commercial or non-commercial, in the United States in the early 1980s. It also included the phenomenon of free and open source software (F/OSS). It was this last category that excited the opposition of Microsoft.

Sanitized for our protection

Sanitized for our protection
Teenage movie fans can watch the stars of the execrable "Bad Boys II" leer over a corpse's breasts, but the all-powerful movie ratings board probably won't allow Americans to see the Italian master Bertolucci's new film intact.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
By Charles Taylor

Sept. 5, 2003 | 1973: A major American distributor, United Artists, releases Bernardo Bertolucci's "Last Tango in Paris" with an X rating.
2003: At the Venice Film Festival, Bertolucci announces that his new film, "The Dreamers," will probably have to be cut for its American release to satisfy the contract he signed with the U.S. distributor, Fox Searchlight Pictures, to deliver an R-rated film.

That juxtaposition is an easy irony but a real one -- a mark of how society has changed in 30 years, of the growing conservatism of the film industry, a sign of how American movie audiences are infantilized when it comes to sex, and one more example of why it's past time to ditch the corrupt ratings system of the Motion Picture Association of America.

And shes looking quite fine but she's not quite mine.

Serena's friend's bands ... His name is Eric and I listened to them at KYTV; song "Cantalope Soup" is quite good... just a quick plug

RIAA Goodness

It is believed that the RIAA is considering an "amnesty plan" for alleged P2P users. The plan would let P2P pirates off the hook if they change their habits.

RIAA has refused officially to comment the alleged plan, but according to various news sites, P2P users who have been "caught" by RIAA would be able to get off hook if they destroy all the copied material they own, including copies on harddrives, CDs, etc, agree not to participate in illegal file sharing ever again and to submit a photocopy of their ID to RIAA.

Users who wish to apply for the amnesty would have to sign a notarized contract where they agree to the rules laid out before and send that contract alongside with the photocopy of their ID to RIAA. If they get caught on violating the contract, they would be sued for committing a willful copyright infringement.

Friendster comments

What can I say of Rizwan? Class. Respect. A great friend. The guy is golden and goes out of his way to make sure his friends have a great time. A tad too obsessed with mtg, but hey, hardcore geeks rock.

Thanks Seth.

Cablemodem Hacking again

Full app
Tutorial

They are working on cracked firmware over there; hopefully they'll have it working sometime ..

Home

25 hours of damn flights; lost baggage and everything... I'm feeling alright for now; should be napping so will blog later.

I'm alive though and for those of you sending well wishes; thanks :)

So I'm coming home...

Its not that I'm done here; my short trip to Kyrgistan and Kahzahkstan will be cut short; but I enjoyed my trip and its time to come home... I've been on a special diet after the doctors discovered a severe infection in my intestines; that wasn't much fun; let me tell you.

Theres a lot to describe but a lot of time to describe it when I get home. Just one note...

This morning was to be my first morning after medication and back to normal after a long rest and careful planning of meals etc. Then I vomited early in the morning... pure bile; I suppose; bright yellow. Tons of fun.

Went to the office to do some work and felt fatigued after a short while ... Uncle K first broached the topic; perhaps I should consider returning home..

I felt sicker but went along; I still feel it is the right choice; I'm wasting time and money and not enjoying myself... we spent the majority of the day trying to wrangle hard to find tickets; I'd be sleeping right now (i've been sleeping at 9pm for the last two weeks) but I had to blog this.

I feel better. It may be temporary, and I expect it to be; but I feel a lot better. I have confirmed tix via Moscow on Sunday and we are trying to wrangle earlier ones... Olga predicted that I'd feel a lot better; not because I was inventing the pains (there is plenty of blood samples and .. other evidence that the infection did exist and was quite severe, at least for me) but she told me a story of Polish people evaced into Uzbekistan during WW2; they suffered from typhus; diptheria and a number of things during their five year stay here... but on their return train; which was of a horrible condition; they felt immensely better just knowing that they were going home.

Maybe thats the way it is. I'll be back here and it was a comparatively cheap trip; and when im older, of better constituion mentally and physically and my Russian is better ill be back.

Until then; unless something radically changes; im coming home.